One month already

It has been about two weeks since last I wrote, and books worth of experiences have transpired. So I need to be more frequent in my writings otherwise it will be very, very difficult to describe anything in detail. I will do my best.

I got a 45 minute massage from a blind woman for 10 kuai, about $1.25. Never slept so well in my life. It was after a day of sightseeing, jumping on buses and seeing where they went, getting strange stares, and finding my way back. It's a hit-or-miss way of sightseeing, but nevertheless interesting. One thing I saw that day was a group of children crowded around a woman pouring globs of honey on a hotplate. Next to the hotplate, there was a wooden spinner with pictures of animals. The kids would spin the dial, indicating the design of whatever animal it landed on. The lady put a bamboo stick in the mess of honey, and the honey slowly liquified and became the animal shape. It would cool and harden, leaving an animal-shaped honey popsickle. Fantastic.

Last Saturday I went to the nearby ancient city of Guandu. I had to take two buses to get there, and we ended up bouncing down a dirt road past cement factories and ubiquitous black-smoke belching blue construction trucks hurling to the next massive Chinese construction site. People were staring at me, asking me where I was going, if I was ok, but I was confident in my advice to check out "old Kunming"...which later turned out to be Guandu.

When I stepped of the bus, it was into a different world. The city "buses" here were horses pulling carriages lined with padded benches. I don't think it was for the tourists, either. The people looked like locals. I was very hungry by that time, and ordered some Chinese bread from a street vendor. Obviously not many foreigners come to this place. The girl working starting laughing so hard when I asked her the price that she nearly knocked over the money bucket. Her mother had to come out and help me.

After that, stumbling through the construction sites, I found the city. A few nice temples, ancient pagodas, tea houses. They were shooting a movie when I walked on the scence. Women were in traditional minority dress drinking tea underneath a 1000 year old pagoda. I also saw (not in the movie) a Taoist fortune teller (on the street) and a parked bicycle with a pigeon in a cage strapped to the back (got a picture of that). I explored some temples and ended up talking to some Chinese kids. Suddenly a great crowd of people were surrounding me, maybe 100 souls, watching me interact with the children. I felt socially unprepared in this situation...unsure if I should give a speech, offer some kind of message of peace, or tell a joke. Eventually I waved goodbye to the kids and parted the crowd and disappeared into another temple.

This was my first real week of teaching. The students are from all over China including Tibet, Xinjiang, Guanxi, and Inner Mongolia Autonomous Regions. They are all graduate students, mostly city planning, landscaping, and horticulture majors. Their English ability varies greatly. I teach four groups two sessions each: oral English and written English. In my written English class, I had them write about an early experience in their life that impacted their development. I got some incredible results. Some have come so far...I will never complain about being "poor" in America again. One thing I really want to do with the writing classes is create an online magazine with polished works, as there are some true gems. Many Chinese are eager to share their culture and experiences with the outside world and I think the world is always developing more and more curiosity about this glorious, ancient civilization.

The students often choose English names, just as I have a Chinese name (Lai-An). Some names are Sellina, Andrew, David, Tom, Harly, Koby, Abu, Fly, Jojo, Mellon, Spider, Marble, Eleven, Duck, Volleyball, Tirumisum, and Carton.

They are highly motivated and often I see students coming to different sessions the same week, or students showing up that aren't even in my classes. People here really want to learn English, although it is difficult to get them talking. There is the Confucian respect for the teacher, and a reluctance to speak up in class. As my girlfriend taught me, in Asia the "banking system" of education is strongly established, where the teacher "deposits" the knowledge in the students' mind. In the West, I grew up in a much more decentralized educational experience that encouraged more interaction and experiential learning. So, as I always am trying to do in China, I must find a happy comprimise.

This coming week is Mid-Autumn Festival, or October National Holiday, celebrating the founding of the People's Republic of China on 1 Oct 1949. The holiday goes further back though, and I've gotten about ten pounds of mooncakes from students and colleagues. Mooncakes are delicious soft cakes usually filled with sweet bean paste. The box I got from the Foreign Affairs Office is over the top, however, in packaging and delectability.

I have a week vacation for this Holiday so I am going to Xishan (Western Hills of Kunming) for Oct. 1 National Day, and then Guiyang to stay at a friend's house. During this trip I also hope to see China's largest waterfall.

Last night was a welcome celebration for the college freshmen. I expected to see a little music, and maybe some dancing, so I wandered up there by myself. It was a little dark when I got there (about 7 p.m.) and I encountered a man in a suit and tie at the entrance. I thought he was going to stop me since I didn't have an invitation or anything. Instead, he shook my hand, got on the walkie-talkie, led me down a red carpet to another man in a suit who led me to a seat in the second row, directly behind the "leader of the college." There were bowls of fruit and bottled water all around. The performance was over the top.

There were fireworks, ethnic dancing, a fashion show, a Cinderella play (in English), a Romance of the Three Kingdoms performance, a wedding cake (I got a piece, garnished with fruit and a cherry tomato), and celebrity performers. One performer jumped on stage, seemingly straight from the mountains, bearskin-clad, pierced ear, shaved head, bawling away in a tribal chant. One man brought down the house with his performance of "Labalabalaba" (don't know the real title but it's a raucous Xinjiang love song that I've heard many times here...heard it translates "pretty girls, come here, follow me"). I didn't catch his name but he seems to be known all throughout China (he won a national competition for the best young male singer). He ran down into the crowd during his performance and shouted, "Hello!" at me in the middle of his song. All in all, the gala lasted about four hours.

If this happens in obscure Bailong Village in Kunming, it gives me chills to think what they will pull off for the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Olympic Games.

This week I also helped judge the schoolwide English speaking competition. Once again, there were hostesses in red dresses, bottled water, and tons of flowers. This is part of the 2006 CCTV Cup English Speaking Contest (the biggest TV channel in China). The winner goes on to the provincial level, and then to the national level. The championships are broadcast worldwide. The auditorium was packed and enthusiastic, and the mood music was pumping. There were some fine speeches. The topic was "Unity and Diversity." I was especially impressed with the non-English majors for their ability to work on both their English and their majors. At the beginning, I was asked to give a speech at the end while the votes were tallied, so I furiously scribbled a speech between my judging responsibilities.

I talked about American music and the institution of the House of Blues (located in 17 cities across the US and Canada). The mission of the House of Blues is "Unity in Diversity"--preserving the great traditions of American music while fostering new sounds as well. I remarked I that I hoped the same thing for my country. I also talked about the unity of excellence and the diverse paths to get there, and the excellent speeches we heard tonight.

Oh, let me tell you about Chairman Mao, but please don't read on if you are easily offended. This is not the Chairman Mao that you see on the 100 yuan bill. No, this is a teacher at my college named Mr. Mao, from Vietnam Forestry College. He's a small man, about 65 years of age. He is deemed "Chairman" because of his prodigious drinking abilities. I briefly met him once, but didn't have much of an introduction (or warning). I saw him the other day walking, and he invited me to lunch, and to drink a "little wine." I thought he meant red wine, but when Vietnamese people say "wine," they mean "baijiu," Chinese firewater.

Soon there was a bottle of baijiu on the table. He poured generous teacups full of the stuff (this is 50% stuff) and started telling stories of living in Leningrad and Beijing (he speaks English, Chinese, Russian, and Vietnamese). Soon a couple other Vietnamese students showed up just as the first bottle was being polished off. "Chuc mun!" Another bottle appeared and then disappeared. I had to duck out. This man was half my size, three times my age, and five times my drinking ability. I saw him later that day, and was invited to supper, but told him I couldn't drink any more baijiu. I got off drinking a small glass of beer, but he was still going. No problem.

Long Live Chairman Mao!

This morning at about 10:00 a.m., air raid sirens started wailing. I was on campus at Southwest Forestry University, and all around me the Chinese students were carrying on in their normal ways, so I didn't worry too much about it. In the meantime I went to my basic Chinese speaking class on the 6th floor of my Classroom Building A--known on campus as "Potala Palace"--and the siren was wailing from directly overhead. It had to be have been 20 minutes. It was eerie. No conversation could take place, nothing could be heard except for the screaming lament. This was deafening. I mean louder than China normally is. The teacher looked annoyed.

Later I found out that today is the 75th anniversary of the Manchurian Incident, or known in China as the September 18th Incident. On 18 September 1931, around 10:20 p.m., a mysterious explosion was heard on the railroad track near Mukden (today's Shenyang). The explosion, nothing major, only damaged about 1.5 meters of track. However, this 1.5m led to a massive Japanese invasion and the almost immediate fall of Manchuria. Over the next 14 years, millions upon millions of Chinese would die brutal deaths in total war, including six weeks of hell on earth in Nanking. That's all I have to say about that.

I have also been here for the 30th anniversary of Mao's death, but that was pretty low-key. I did see his portrait hanging in a bar above two long-haired Chinese guys in AC-DC T-shirts playing Nirvana songs on amplified guitars. A sudden banquet ensued, which I was invited to, and laughing and merriment lasted well into the night. My ability to speak Mandarin greatly improved, so it seemed, if only for a night.

Today was my first day of teaching, in my life! It was pouring rain all day. Remember, this is the tropics, and the end of monsoon season. There are palm trees around. On my door this morning I received a note from my colleague Marietta, wishing me a "Happy 'first' day of teaching. Glad you are in Kunming." I dressed up in my Sunday best, and was prepared to take on 39 graduate students for an English Writing class. I got there and the door was locked to my classroom. I went down to the Foreign Languages Department and someone showed up eventually to let me in. At long last, 10 minutes after the class was to begin, about four students trickled in. Then, about 45 minutes into the class, four more appeared. That was it. Eight out of 40 and one girl wasn't even supposed to be in the class (what was she doing there? I never figured it out). Halfway through, I was told that the central government had just decided this morning to postpone graduate courses by another week. Welcome to China!

Overheard at an English department meeting:
Chinese professor: "...And that's the ridiculous part of China."
Another professor: "Oh, you found that part?!?"

Most of my friends here are around 60 years old. It seems that expat life is very cross-generational. On Saturday I went out to eat lunch with three women of that age group. We must look very strange to the Chinese! One was Marietta, one was named Nora (she's a Catholic nun from Cork, Ireland), and the other was a former school superintendent from Vermont named Janet. I got to hear a unique perspective on the recent history of the city. It is amazing to think that 10 years ago, the tallest building in the city was the Yunnan University Hotel (seven stories). Now there are skyscrapers everywhere. My neighborhood is undergoing a serious bout of hyper-construction. There is an endless parade of blue cement trucks and donkey carts pulling building materials, cranes, jackhammers, dust. In fact, I will be moving to a new building in October...as soon as it's completed. I've never seen buildings go up and down so quickly (I've only been here three weeks).

Janet is a very interesting, focused person. Her husband passed away about six years ago, and she came to China on a conference, and never left, except for brief visits. Now she teaches at Yunnan Normal University, a teacher training college. She has given seminars all over the country and does a bit of scholarly writing. I received a top-notch intensive course on the art of teaching English to the Chinese ("take it easy!") and she lent me a couple of books, including a collection of short stories by the Chinese writer Ha Jin (the book's called Under the Red Flag, stellar, bizarre).

Today being my first class, I asked the students (who were actually there) what they wanted to learn. This is a very different approach from the traditional "banking system" of education prevalent in Asia. I had some really interesting results. These students are college graduates from all over the country, very highly motivated, although having greatly varied abilities in the English language (their majors are horticulture, environmental engineering, forestry and such). From the small sample I had, they mainly want to write English research papers and scientific articles and then continue their studies in the U.S. Many of course want to know about life in the US, who my favorite pop stars are ("Michael Jackson?" "Whitney Houston?" "Michael Bolton?"). It seems to be a very rewarding and interesting semester...as soon as it begins and people start showing up. I am definitely excited.

Last Friday, I walked into an English speaking competition for the Foreign Languages Department and found out that I was to be a judge. I had no idea. I was also told to ask questions based on the speeches (which I have never heard before), and that the Q&A section was 30% of the score. The three winners would advance to a school-wide competition, then provincial, then national. Sometime next year the winners will be shown on CCTV International. The topic was "Unity and Diversity." Tough. The speeches were very good, except for one person I couldn't understand and another who read off a sheet of paper (they were supposed to memorize the speeches). I was amazed at the language ability of some of these students, who have probably never left China, who have probably never have known a native speaker. This is their one big shot to show the world who they are. This eagerness I find in China (along with the wildness) is one thing I really like about here. I have a feeling that the Beijing Olympics are going to be incredible.

Now I am past that initial three week shock. Now things are beginning to make sense and I am able to use my rudimentary Mandarin skills somewhat effectively. I also want to talk about other things in the past week: my new Vietnamese friends I'm taking the Chinese classes with, getting a bike (no comment on my first experience riding downtown...whoa...), recording a promotional video, the eating at a packed Brothers Jiang restaurant and sharing the table with a startled family, but I must stop here. I need to sleep once in a while.

Our tale continues; it is of what befell under the People's Republic of China, in the era of Chairman Hu Jintao: in that period of the 11th Five Year Plan known as "Peaceful Development." In that time, in the province of Yunnan, in the district of Panlong-qu, in the neighborhood of Bailong-si, which is part of the juridiction of Kunming-shi, your humble narrator experienced his second week in China.

First of all I really want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and emails. Homesickness is not an accute affliction for me, but neither am I immune. Hearing from my friends and family, however near or far away certainly makes my day. I have been filling my days getting oriented with the city, riding the crowded buses downtown. It is not impolite to push your way onto the bus and there's no such thing as a linear line to embark. The bus's intercom system blares with announcements of the next stop and all nearby points of interest. Once in a while, I catch something in English but it jumps back mid-sentence into Mandarin. The screen at the front of the bus scrolls across the stops in red heiroglyphs and the LCD TV on the bus blasts, at full volume, public service announcements and entertainment programming. Usually these screens are visible because most people stand chin-height to me. The bus driver frequently honks at obstacles, perceived and real, and often I'll see a large potted plant and a jar of tea beside him. The ride is jarring and slow, but great fun. It costs 1 yuan to ride, less than 13 cents.

The Chinese are in fact very good drivers, although I would not feel comfortable driving here. It takes great courage to even cross the street. The one rule about China is that one does not travel in a straight line. The lane markers on the road are guidelines, not law-enforcebale forcefields like in the US. It is not unusual to see a traffic jam of 12 different types of wheeled vehicles, aimed in 12 different directions. But somehow, some way, it works.

I went to a English teachers' meeting, which was completely in Chinese. The upswing of it was being invited to a teachers' function, the first of the year, to see Dynamic Yunnan, "A Grand Primitive Song & Dance Medley." This group performs internationally (known overseas as "Looking for Shangri-La") and is known throughout China. It is correographed by China's most famous dancer (Yang Li Ping), and features performers who were formerly peasant farmers in rural Yunnan. It highlights the various costumes, songs, and dances of the minority groups of the province, but is also distinctly modern. The performance was flawless, and best put in the New York Times (5 March 2005) as " staging ritualistic folk dances, beating drums, stomping, singing and floating elegantly across the stage like butterflies." Powerful.

I went to Daguan Park, on the shore of one of China's largest freshwater lakes, Dian Chi. This park, like many places here, predates the Pilgrims' landing at Plymouth Rock. Arched bridges, Buddhist pavilions, water lillies, bumper cars, a brand-new sculpture garden, a bonzai exhibit, traditional music, a man practicing gongfu (Kung Fu), the stuff I really enjoy about China.

What I don't enjoy about China is all the noise, the black clouds belching from the endless parade of construction vehicles, the incessant "Hellooooo" from passersby, the intestinal symptom the Chinese euphamistically call "spicy stomach," mosquitos, not being able to read very much or understand people's words no matter how many times they repeat themselves. I still want to tell them that I thank them greatly for their patience. Soon I will be able to that: my Chinese classes begin tomorrow. I will be taking them with a recently-arrived colleague from South Philly named Marietta, an energetic woman forged by 1960's whom I already know will be great fun getting to know. My other classmates will be the Vietnamese students here on a language program, like me, true beginners. Wo bu hui shuo Zhongwen.

Tonight, my colleague/neighbors Marietta, Lester, and I went out for Western food at Wei's Pizzeria. It is owned by a Dutchman and his Chinese wife. The pizza was great (ovens are very rare in China, and this one was brick) and a welcome break from noodle joints with undecipherable menus. I'm comforted in having fellow countrymen as neighbors, and although they're from my parents' generation and hold advanced degrees and have years of international teaching experience (which I don't), none of that matters. Context counts here: They are going through the same things I'm going through.

I have just received a phone call from my boss, Mr. Li, inviting me to do a voice-over tomorrow for the college's promotional video. He promised me that I will be heard "all over the world." Apparently, people already know me at the college, even though I don't start teaching until next week. Marietta told me today that her students are calling me "Golden Boy" on account of my hair. I like that!!

There are homeless people in China, although I haven't seen nearly as many as in the US. There are destitute beggars with physical deformities and orphans on the street. This is sad and troubling, not only because it's in China but worldwide. I did see one remarkable thing, however. A man with one arm, on the ground, painting page after page of beautiful Chinese calligraphy. Only he wasn't using his hand to draw: the brush was in his mouth, from whence each graceful stroke emerged.

My first week in China.

Imagine being in a place where everyone is surprised to see you. Not in a familiar or negative way, just genuine curiosity. To that mix add a difficult writing system which for the most part I cannot comprehend, a language that leaves me baffled, and a culture that only causes me to laugh. My first day in China was in Guangzhou, playing ping pong, and my opponent told me, "Take it easy." I will heed that advice during my time here.

To get here, to the place the Chinese call their country, "The Central Country," I traveled half the circumference of the globe: 12,000 miles: tears of parting in Eugene, Oregon; sleeping in my car while traversing 2000 miles cross country on the longest highway in America (US 20) to Iowa; raucous nights in Sioux City; delays and cancellations in Cedar Rapids; a broken down car and a tow truck ride to an auto body shop in Denver; Holiday Inn in L.A.; Narita Airport in Tokyo; Chunking Mansions in Hong Kong; walking across the Chinese border at Lo Wu; tears of joy and anticipation in Shenzhen; ping pong in Guangzhou; arriving to a new moon in Kunming (population 3.5 million, a medium-sized Chinese city).

I am currently in a "surf-bar," a cybercafe in my neighborhood, Bailong, otherwise known as White Dragon Village. It costs 2 yuan per hour to use the Internet here, about 25 cents. Across the street, if the cartoonish illustrations in the window are any guide, you can order chicken, fish, dog, and Felix the Cat. In the street there is an endless promenade of pedestrians, bicycles, horse and donkey carts, tractor-like contraptions, goat herds, electric scooters, motorcycle taxis, cars, cement trucks, buses. Everything is honking because China has to be that loud. After all, it's China.

My life in China is hard to put in words because there is an other-worldly feel to it. One of my first nights in Kunming, the college president Mr. Liu of Xinanlinxueyuen (the place of my employment, ..>..>a.k.a , Southwest of China Forestry University) took us three foreign teachers and the Foreign Affairs staff out to eat mushroom hotpot. There was also a fellow American, a foreign expert studying beetles here. Yunnan Province (of which Kunming is the capital) is a hotspot for tiger beetles, of which there 145 species, 78 living in Yunnan. The larvae live in tobacco plants and prey on harmful insects to this valuable cash crop. Consequently the college receives virtually unlimited funding from the Chinese government (after all, tobacco is by far the People's Republic of China's biggest source of income). There have been two new species they've discovered. We had at least seven different mushrooms cooked in a boiling broth, along with various vegetables and turtle, and a side of click beetles (bamboo worms) and dragonfly larvae. This was all washed down with copious toasts and shots of maitai baijiu (106 proof Chinese whiskey). It was an excellent feast.

I mustered up the courage one night to play some Chinese students in a game of outdoor pool (very cheap here). One guy's name was Johnny and the other calls himself Berry (because he likes berries). The next morning they met me at my apartment and took me to a place called Golden Temple. This was the summer residence of one Mr. Wu Sangui, a Qing dynasty general whom the emperor sent to repress the Southwest and, well, Mr. Wu ended up setting up a rebel kingdom in Yunnan. He built a 250-ton Taoist temple completely out of bronze in 1602, the largest work of bronze architecture in China. This is on top of Mingfeng Mountain. There is also a 44 pound broadsword on site.

After the temple, one of my newfound friends, Xiao Chien ("small Chien"), took us to her tea school. There was a classroom full of students learning the ceremonial art of pouring tea, including who just might be the most beautiful girl in China as well as a student still in his army uniform! The head teacher of the school ended up serving us five some of Yunnan's most famous tea, Pu'er. It was of golden color, sweet in taste, and aged over ten years. Unfortunately, she only spoke Mandarin, so I missed out on the interesting history of tea in Yunnan province, the most appropriate temperature of the tea (and the glass), and how to correctly wash the tea. For maximum effect, one must drink at least 10 glasses (we had at least 20); we quickly entered a world of great relaxation. Supposedly this brick of tea we were drinking from costs 2800 yuan, about $350 US. This was all free, and we were invited back for more any time. ..>..>

I have seen a 1200 year-old Zen temple (monks and chanting and a great big Buddha donated by the king of Thailand), twin 13-story pagodas built between 824 and 859, and received a massage from a blind man downtown for 40 yuan/$5 . I also went to a large park and listened to some women singing and dancing to a song about Shangri-La (which does exist, and is in Yunnan). Marvelous. This was all today.

On 30 September, I went down to Green Lake Park. There were some older people playing a two-stringed instrument (erhu) that sounds like a violin, and one older gentleman in a Mao suit let me play a three stringed instrument that sounds like a banjo. At first, I couldn't figure out why there were so many middle-aged people there talking and so much music, but soon I found out why....

On the 10th, 20th, 30th and every Saturday morning, parents of marriage-aged children meet in this park to hopefully make a match! They bring pictures of their child and even resumes. Since I was the only young person, and a foreigner, you can guess that I was very popular! People crowded around me and asked me many questions. They were really friendly though, and some spoke English and explained it all to me. One lady had her baby touch my hairy arms!

My apartment is provided by my school, as is its electricity, water, gas, and cleaning lady. I have two comfortable bedrooms, 75 channels of cable TV (only one is in English, a boring CCTV news channel), and a large balcony where I can reach out and touch a bamboo tree and admire bonzai trees in my park-like middle-class neighborhood. I get paid tomorrow for the month and don't even start teaching for two more weeks.

This is my first week in China. In one word: Fascinating.

By the way, the food here is nothing like Chinese food in America, babies don't wear diapers in China, Tom & Jerry and Doraimon are all the rage, a good cold beer costs about 20 cents for a 24 oz. bottle, Wikipedia and the BBC are blocked on the Internet here, I have a neighbor from Japan and a colleague from Iowa, etc., etc.

Rest in Peace, Steve Irwin.

_________________________

My first week in China.

Imagine being in a place where everyone is surprised to see you. Not in a familiar or negative way, just genuine curiosity. To that mix add a difficult writing system which for the most part I cannot comprehend, a language that leaves me baffled, and a culture that only causes me to laugh. My first day in China was in Guangzhou, playing ping pong, and my opponent told me, "Take it easy." I will heed that advice during my time here.

To get here, to the place the Chinese call their country, "The Central Country," I traveled half the circumference of the globe: 12,000 miles: tears of parting in Eugene, Oregon; sleeping in my car while traversing 2000 miles cross country on the longest highway in America (US 20) to Iowa; raucous nights in Sioux City; delays and cancellations in Cedar Rapids; a broken down car and a tow truck ride to an auto body shop in Denver; Holiday Inn in L.A.; Narita Airport in Tokyo; Chunking Mansions in Hong Kong; walking across the Chinese border at Lo Wu; tears of joy and anticipation in Shenzhen; ping pong in Guangzhou; arriving to a new moon in Kunming (population 3.5 million, a medium-sized Chinese city).

I am currently in a "surf-bar," a cybercafe in my neighborhood, Bailong, otherwise known as White Dragon Village. It costs 2 yuan per hour to use the Internet here, about 25 cents. Across the street, if the cartoonish illustrations in the window are any guide, you can order chicken, fish, dog, and Felix the Cat. In the street there is an endless promenade of pedestrians, bicycles, horse and donkey carts, tractor-like contraptions, goat herds, electric scooters, motorcycle taxis, cars, cement trucks, buses. Everything is honking because China has to be that loud. After all, it's China.

My life in China is hard to put in words because there is an other-worldly feel to it. One of my first nights in Kunming, the college president Mr. Liu of Xinanlinxueyuen (the place of my employment, a.k.a, Southwest of China Forestry University) took us three foreign teachers and the Foreign Affairs staff out to eat mushroom hotpot. There was also a fellow American, a foreign expert studying beetles here. Yunnan Province (of which Kunming is the capital) is a hotspot for tiger beetles, of which there 145 species, 78 living in Yunnan. The larvae live in tobacco plants and prey on harmful insects to this valuable cash crop. Consequently the college receives virtually unlimited funding from the Chinese government (after all, tobacco is by far the People's Republic of China's biggest source of income). There have been two new species they've discovered. We had at least seven different mushrooms cooked in a boiling broth, along with various vegetables and turtle, and a side of click beetles (bamboo worms) and dragonfly larvae. This was all washed down with copious toasts and shots of maitai baijiu (106 proof Chinese whiskey). It was an excellent feast.

I mustered up the courage one night to play some Chinese students in a game of outdoor pool (very cheap here). One guy's name was Johnny and the other calls himself Berry (because he likes berries). The next morning they met me at my apartment and took me to a place called Golden Temple. This was the summer residence of one Mr. Wu Sangui, a Qing dynasty general whom the emperor sent to repress the Southwest and, well, Mr. Wu ended up setting up a rebel kingdom in Yunnan. He built a 250-ton Taoist temple completely out of bronze in 1602, the largest work of bronze architecture in China. This is on top of Mingfeng Mountain. There is also a 44 pound broadsword on site.

After the temple, one of my newfound friends, Xiao Chien ("small Chien"), took us to her tea school. There was a classroom full of students learning the ceremonial art of pouring tea, including who just might be the most beautiful girl in China as well as a student still in his army uniform! The head teacher of the school ended up serving us five some of Yunnan's most famous tea, Pu'er. It was of golden color, sweet in taste, and aged over ten years. Unfortunately, she only spoke Mandarin, so I missed out on the interesting history of tea in Yunnan province, the most appropriate temperature of the tea (and the glass), and how to correctly wash the tea. For maximum effect, one must drink at least 10 glasses (we had at least 20); we quickly entered a world of great relaxation. Supposedly this brick of tea we were drinking from costs 2800 yuan, about $350 US. This was all free, and we were invited back for more any time.

I have seen a 1200 year-old Zen temple (monks and chanting and a great big Buddha donated by the king of Thailand), twin 13-story pagodas built between 824 and 859, and received a massage from a blind man downtown for 40 yuan/$5 . I also went to a large park and listened to some women singing and dancing to a song about Shangri-La (which does exist, and is in Yunnan). Marvelous. This was all today.

On 30 September, I went down to Green Lake Park. There were some older people playing a two-stringed instrument (erhu) that sounds like a violin, and one older gentleman in a Mao suit let me play a three stringed instrument that sounds like a banjo. At first, I couldn't figure out why there were so many middle-aged people there talking and so much music, but soon I found out why....

On the 10th, 20th, 30th and every Saturday morning, parents of marriage-aged children meet in this park to hopefully make a match! They bring pictures of their child and even resumes. Since I was the only young person, and a foreigner, you can guess that I was very popular! People crowded around me and asked me many questions. They were really friendly though, and some spoke English and explained it all to me. One lady had her baby touch my hairy arms!

My apartment is provided by my school, as is its electricity, water, gas, and cleaning lady. I have two comfortable bedrooms, 75 channels of cable TV (only one is in English, a boring CCTV news channel), and a large balcony where I can reach out and touch a bamboo tree and admire bonzai trees in my park-like middle-class neighborhood. I get paid tomorrow for the month and don't even start teaching for two more weeks.

This is my first week in China. In one word: Fascinating.

By the way, the food here is nothing like Chinese food in America, babies don't wear diapers in China, many people smoke cigarettes from water bongs, Tom & Jerry and Doraimon are all the rage, a good cold beer costs about 20 cents for a 24 oz. bottle, Wikipedia and the BBC are blocked on the Internet here, I have a neighbor from Japan and a colleague from Iowa, etc., etc.