Rest in Peace, Steve Irwin.

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My first week in China.

Imagine being in a place where everyone is surprised to see you. Not in a familiar or negative way, just genuine curiosity. To that mix add a difficult writing system which for the most part I cannot comprehend, a language that leaves me baffled, and a culture that only causes me to laugh. My first day in China was in Guangzhou, playing ping pong, and my opponent told me, "Take it easy." I will heed that advice during my time here.

To get here, to the place the Chinese call their country, "The Central Country," I traveled half the circumference of the globe: 12,000 miles: tears of parting in Eugene, Oregon; sleeping in my car while traversing 2000 miles cross country on the longest highway in America (US 20) to Iowa; raucous nights in Sioux City; delays and cancellations in Cedar Rapids; a broken down car and a tow truck ride to an auto body shop in Denver; Holiday Inn in L.A.; Narita Airport in Tokyo; Chunking Mansions in Hong Kong; walking across the Chinese border at Lo Wu; tears of joy and anticipation in Shenzhen; ping pong in Guangzhou; arriving to a new moon in Kunming (population 3.5 million, a medium-sized Chinese city).

I am currently in a "surf-bar," a cybercafe in my neighborhood, Bailong, otherwise known as White Dragon Village. It costs 2 yuan per hour to use the Internet here, about 25 cents. Across the street, if the cartoonish illustrations in the window are any guide, you can order chicken, fish, dog, and Felix the Cat. In the street there is an endless promenade of pedestrians, bicycles, horse and donkey carts, tractor-like contraptions, goat herds, electric scooters, motorcycle taxis, cars, cement trucks, buses. Everything is honking because China has to be that loud. After all, it's China.

My life in China is hard to put in words because there is an other-worldly feel to it. One of my first nights in Kunming, the college president Mr. Liu of Xinanlinxueyuen (the place of my employment, a.k.a, Southwest of China Forestry University) took us three foreign teachers and the Foreign Affairs staff out to eat mushroom hotpot. There was also a fellow American, a foreign expert studying beetles here. Yunnan Province (of which Kunming is the capital) is a hotspot for tiger beetles, of which there 145 species, 78 living in Yunnan. The larvae live in tobacco plants and prey on harmful insects to this valuable cash crop. Consequently the college receives virtually unlimited funding from the Chinese government (after all, tobacco is by far the People's Republic of China's biggest source of income). There have been two new species they've discovered. We had at least seven different mushrooms cooked in a boiling broth, along with various vegetables and turtle, and a side of click beetles (bamboo worms) and dragonfly larvae. This was all washed down with copious toasts and shots of maitai baijiu (106 proof Chinese whiskey). It was an excellent feast.

I mustered up the courage one night to play some Chinese students in a game of outdoor pool (very cheap here). One guy's name was Johnny and the other calls himself Berry (because he likes berries). The next morning they met me at my apartment and took me to a place called Golden Temple. This was the summer residence of one Mr. Wu Sangui, a Qing dynasty general whom the emperor sent to repress the Southwest and, well, Mr. Wu ended up setting up a rebel kingdom in Yunnan. He built a 250-ton Taoist temple completely out of bronze in 1602, the largest work of bronze architecture in China. This is on top of Mingfeng Mountain. There is also a 44 pound broadsword on site.

After the temple, one of my newfound friends, Xiao Chien ("small Chien"), took us to her tea school. There was a classroom full of students learning the ceremonial art of pouring tea, including who just might be the most beautiful girl in China as well as a student still in his army uniform! The head teacher of the school ended up serving us five some of Yunnan's most famous tea, Pu'er. It was of golden color, sweet in taste, and aged over ten years. Unfortunately, she only spoke Mandarin, so I missed out on the interesting history of tea in Yunnan province, the most appropriate temperature of the tea (and the glass), and how to correctly wash the tea. For maximum effect, one must drink at least 10 glasses (we had at least 20); we quickly entered a world of great relaxation. Supposedly this brick of tea we were drinking from costs 2800 yuan, about $350 US. This was all free, and we were invited back for more any time.

I have seen a 1200 year-old Zen temple (monks and chanting and a great big Buddha donated by the king of Thailand), twin 13-story pagodas built between 824 and 859, and received a massage from a blind man downtown for 40 yuan/$5 . I also went to a large park and listened to some women singing and dancing to a song about Shangri-La (which does exist, and is in Yunnan). Marvelous. This was all today.

On 30 September, I went down to Green Lake Park. There were some older people playing a two-stringed instrument (erhu) that sounds like a violin, and one older gentleman in a Mao suit let me play a three stringed instrument that sounds like a banjo. At first, I couldn't figure out why there were so many middle-aged people there talking and so much music, but soon I found out why....

On the 10th, 20th, 30th and every Saturday morning, parents of marriage-aged children meet in this park to hopefully make a match! They bring pictures of their child and even resumes. Since I was the only young person, and a foreigner, you can guess that I was very popular! People crowded around me and asked me many questions. They were really friendly though, and some spoke English and explained it all to me. One lady had her baby touch my hairy arms!

My apartment is provided by my school, as is its electricity, water, gas, and cleaning lady. I have two comfortable bedrooms, 75 channels of cable TV (only one is in English, a boring CCTV news channel), and a large balcony where I can reach out and touch a bamboo tree and admire bonzai trees in my park-like middle-class neighborhood. I get paid tomorrow for the month and don't even start teaching for two more weeks.

This is my first week in China. In one word: Fascinating.

By the way, the food here is nothing like Chinese food in America, babies don't wear diapers in China, many people smoke cigarettes from water bongs, Tom & Jerry and Doraimon are all the rage, a good cold beer costs about 20 cents for a 24 oz. bottle, Wikipedia and the BBC are blocked on the Internet here, I have a neighbor from Japan and a colleague from Iowa, etc., etc.